The Sofa Debate
by Dictionary-Dominatrix
Summary: Josh and Donna debate sofas, Donna's lack of work, and possible harassment suits...
1. Chapter 1

Donna.

**Yes, Josh?**

Why are you lying on my sofa?

**Because I'm tired. And you're not working.**

Why my sofa?

**Because you won't buy me my own. And it's not like I actually have an office to sleep in, is it?**

Oh. Yeah, that makes sense.

**Could give me a raise…**

You're sleeping on my sofa! Isn't it good enough for you?

**Yes Joshua. Because, as we all know, your slightly… well, old sofa... is so beneficial to my health…**

Why wouldn't it be?

**JOSH!**

Yeah?

**You're sitting on my sofa!**

Actually, my sofa, so I think I have the right.… besides, you said it was unhealthy, and I'm testing it.

Y'know, if you moved over I could sit next to you…

**Josh. I was, in actual fact, sitting here, comfortably, taking a five minute break until you got back from the hill. Then you come back and expect me to work?**

Hey, you want a pay rise, you gotta earn it.

**You don't do anything all day and yet you get a pay raise. **

A little harsh, weren't we there Donna?

**My sofa, Josh.**

Mine.

**Actually the White House's. But it's my domain. You'd never survive without me.**

Hold up…so it's the President's sofa?

**Technically, yes. Do you think he'd allow one of his hard, hard working employees to take a little break on it?**

I'll be sure to bring that up in staff.

**And I'm sure I'll remind you about it tomorrow.**

I look forward to it.

**Oh. By the way, when you were gone, Toby called.**

Now, that's precisely the information you tell me before I enter the room Donna, not after I make myself all nice and comfortable on this little sofa.

**It'd be bigger if you weren't on it.**

It'd be bigger if you moved.

**Calling me fat now Josh?**

What! No! Of course not… I'd say, more curvaceous. In a good way. Ow! No need to hit me.

**I'm sure CJ wouldn't mind it.**

Yeah, because the headline, "Assistant Beats Boss In White House" doesn't really look so good right now.

**You think?**

You don't?

**No. I think it'd be a great story. "Assistants fight back against domineering bosses."**

I'm sure we're domineering in more ways than one.

**You want a sexual harassment suit to go with that?**

Depends. Am I being sued before or after the sex?

**Before. The White House Deputy Chief of Staff doesn't get sex. Unless you get it during your meeting with Toby, which, by the way, you are late for…**

Donna!

**Yes Josh?**

If I ask nicely, will you go back to work?

**Are you capable of asking nicely or should I skip past this bit and get back to my desk?**

Donna…

**That's a yes then… ok, now I'm working again. Damn it. No nap.**

You have the memo for the thing I'm going to?

**Desk, top left, under paper weight, with post it saying TOBY – MEETING on it.**

Wow. How did I miss that?

**Gee, I don't know…**

I hate it when you're sarcastic.

**And Toby hates you on a good day. And you're late.**

I'm going, I'm going! Be back when I get back?

**You're going down the hall.**

I'm taking that as a yes.

**Aren't I always?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Josh.**

Yeah?

**I'm leaving now.**

Okay… bye then. Want me to walk you to your car?

**No, it's okay.**

You sure?

**Yeah, it's alright. You're still working.**

Yeah, be here for a few hours still… night then.

**See you tomorrow Josh.**

…

DONNA!

**Yes, Josh?**

Donna, you know that it's like, seven, right?

**It's a benefit of having a working watch.**

You're leaving?

**No. I actually left at seven. Until somebody called me back. It's currently seven-oh-two.**

It's early!

**It's seven-oh-two!**

Yes, early!

**You know, in the real world, this would be considered working late…**

Real world? Is that the real world in which assistants are paid to bring their bosses coffee?

**The same real world in which assistants get nights off?**

Is this the same place where people who break into offices and start answering possibly personal phone calls are actually arrested?

**I was doing you a favour!**

Some would consider it that, yes.

**You were the one that hired me –**

To my everlasting delight–

**- And so really, you should be nice and let me go home early.**

Do you have a date?

**No. No dates.**

Good. You can go then.

**Wait… I can go now?**

You're going home?

**Yes.**

Fine then. Night.

**JOSH!**

What? You don't want to leave now?

**Why am I allowed home but not out?**

Because you're not!

**Because I'm not? Great comeback there.**

Yes, I know.

**May I ask why the hell not?**

Because if it goes wrong, you'll be miserable.

**And...?**

So then I'll be miserable. Then the whole office suffers. Then the President suffers. Ergo, the whole country suffers due to one bad date.

**Bit of a slippery slope argument there, don't you think?**

Stranger things have happened than the country being ruined by one bad date….

**Like what?**

Like… I'll think of a good example later!

**You know you can't actually stop me dating?**

I could if I wanted to.

**How?**

Simple things... having your date arrested for tax fraud comes to mind...

**But you wouldn't.**

And why wouldn't I?

**Because I'd hunt you down and kill you?**

True. But at least you can't date in prison.

**Joshua… do you really think I'd get caught?**

That's a valid point.

**And one I'd be happy to discuss if I didn't have plans!**

Oh, so you do have plans!

**Plans that involve my room mate and some movies, and possibly sleep, yes.**

Ah ha! So you are busy tonight.

**I am indeed. But you are currently cutting into my free time; I have around eleven hours until I need to be back here for you – I'm a girl on a tight time budget here Josh.**

Donna, you can go.

**Well, as you gave me permission this morning to leave early, you can hardly stop me now – **

- I did not!

**But thank you anyways. And you did.**

When?

**When I said, 'Josh, I'm going to be leaving about seven or so tonight – you going to need anything?' and you said -**

- Yes, I need you to work late? –

**- And you said, 'No, that's fine.'**

I did not!

**Josh, you did. Admit it.**

Donna… what was I doing when you asked?

**You were on the phone –**

- Doesn't count!

**- But you were on hold and you waved your hand at me and said fine! What's a girl to do, suppose that she's being ignored and pretend you didn't hear her?**

Didn't we agree that I'm incapable of doing more than one thing at once?

**Well yes, everyone knows that, but…**

Donna. You want to go home now then?

**Yes.**

Well why are you still here?

**That's it? You aren't going to give me work to do?**

That'd be mean!

**You'd still do it!**

Would not!

**Probably would.**

Well, maybe. But I can work by myself! Like I should be doing now, and not, y'know, discussing my lack of multitasking abilities.

**Okay then Josh. See you tomorrow?**

If I haven't called you back... I'm kidding, I'm kidding, don't give me that look. I won't. Yeah, six thirty tomorrow?

**I'll be here.**

With bagels? And coffee?

**You wish.**

As always.

**Night then.**

G'night, Donna. Be careful.


End file.
